Secondary mirror get!
Visiting family in another city, and turns out there’s an astronomy store named La Maison De L’Astronomie (The Astronomy House)! I called them up to see if they had some secondary mirrors in stock… And they did! They had so many big telescopes, way more small refractors than I was expecting, a huge cabinet of binoculars, and some absolutely massive tripod mounts.
The bbastro calculator says the most optimal uniform illumination secondary mirror size is 62.5mm, which is $60 online (before tax and shipping!) but anything above 50mm will be better the bigger you go. I got this 58mm from them for $40 after tax and I am the shipping. An absolute steal. Just like the space shuttle and canadarm, my 8" Leavitt telescope will be mostly American with one vital Canadian part.